"But you promised!" I cried. "We had a deal. You said I could go to college in the fall if I let you treat me like a daughter all summer. Well, I did everything you asked. I travelled all over Europe with you pretending to be mother and daughter. I let you dress me up like a girl every day. I even learned how to do my hair and make-up like a real girl."
"Wasn't that just delightful," she replied. "And you looked so cute in your swimsuit on the beach in Capri..."
"And," I continued, "I think you've been putting female hormones in my food."